Got You!
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: Mizuki Hajime wants to dump his latest boyfriend...but that boyfriend isn't getting the message.


A/N: Um...I was bored last night, and...I decided to start writing something. The something turned into...whatever this fic happens to be. There's not much of a plot, and there's certainly no point...

Got You!

Mizuki Hajime had a problem. He'd dumped a lot of guys in his time, since he enjoyed playing the field, so it wasn't that he didn't have practice. He'd dealt with heartache, rage, angry stalkers...everything. He could ignore heartache, he could deal with rage by having his minions friends beat some sense into whoever it was, and for angry stalkers, there was always the police.

No, the problem was that this particular individual just didn't seem to understand that he was being dumped.

"This just isn't working for me," Mizuki said, twirling that strand of hair around his finger.

"Would you rather have a hamburger instead, da ne?"

Mizuki's eye twitched. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to dump his current boyfriend at the restaurant (if one could call this greasy fast food establishment a "restaurant") after all.

"I'm not talking about the food, although it really is awful..."

"You know I can't afford those fancy places you like, da ne!"

"Yes, and that's part of the reason why it isn't working for me..."

"So what you're saying is that you want me to get another part-time job, da ne? I suppose I could..."

"No, you're not listening --"

"I'll start saving up so we can do stuff you like, da ne," Yanagisawa said, putting his arm around Mizuki and giving him a squeeze.

Inside, Mizuki screamed.

-----

It was time for plan B. Letting him down gently hadn't worked, so maybe it was time to be blunt.

"Yanagisawa-kun --"

"Shinya, please, da ne!"

Mizuki stifled a sigh. "Shinya-kun. We need to talk."

"Of course, da ne! You can talk to me about anything, da ne. I'm your boyfriend after all, da ne."

"Yes, that's precisely the problem --"

"You can't talk to me because you're afraid I'll laugh at you or something, da ne? You can trust me, da ne!" Yanagisawa was wearing his best trustworthy expression, and he puffed out his chest proudly. "I'm trying to be the best boyfriend ever, da ne!"

"...yes, well, you're--" Mizuki meant to say failing, but Yanagisawa was smiling so happily that he just didn't have the heart. He would dump him tomorrow.

-----

"Shinya-kun. This relationship isn't doing anything for me anymore," Mizuki said. He and Yanagisawa had just finished watching a movie, and in the crowded lobby of the theater, Mizuki was going to be rid of his current boyfriend forever!

"Am I being too clingy, da ne? I've heard that's a big problem in new relationships, da ne. I'll try and give you some space, da ne. I want this relationship to work, da ne." Yanagisawa beamed. "This is the first time anyone ever wanted to go out with me at all, da ne."

Both of Mizuki's eyes were twitching now. Why did Yanagisawa have to sound so damn pathetic? It was appealing to mercy that he didn't have. Well, shouldn't have, anyway.

"Really, Shinya-kun...I'm sure there have been others," Mizuki said, with a brilliant smile. "You are quite attractive, after all."

"Nobody likes me, da ne. Well, except you, da ne! I'm so happy, da ne!" Yanagisawa sniffled.

Mizuki decided not to dump Yanagisawa that day.

-----

Mizuki stared up at his ceiling (which was adorned with glow-in-the-dark stickers of unicorns) and wondered just how on Earth he'd ended up going out with Yanagisawa anyway....

__

It was a dark and stormy night. Mizuki realized that he hadn't been on a date in at least an hour. He'd dumped his last boyfriend (by the name of Jiroh) due to extreme boredom -- and the fact that the guy just never stayed awake long enough to do_ anything._

It was time to go hunting for a new plaything. He opened the door, and stepped out of his room, and saw him -- walking down the hallway.

"Yanagisawa-kun! How would you like to go out with me on Saturday?" Mizuki asked, twirling his hair in his most seductive manner.

"Uh...go out with you, da ne?"

"Yes."

"Like a date, da ne?"

"Yes."

"...really, da ne?"

"Yes," Mizuki replied, his smile becoming more and more forced with each passing second.

"YES, DA NE!"

Mizuki was almost thrown back a few feet by the volume of the answer. "Let's go to a movie," he said. "And then dinner."

"Da ne!"

...so, he was going out with Yanagisawa because he'd been the closest available subject.

He wondered just when he'd stopped going out with guys because he actually _liked_ them. Wait, had he ever dated guys because he actually like them?

Mizuki was on the verge of a very important and meaningful discovery. It had something to do with the fact that he treated other people like garbage; as if they were things that could be disposed of, instead of things to be cherished.

However, he fell asleep before the real deep impact could set in. He would call Yanagisawa and dump him in the morning.

-----

"Shinya-kun --"

"Mizuki! I'm so glad you called, da ne. I found an affordable restaurant you might actually like, da ne. Do you want to go there tonight, da ne?"

"Actually, I --"

"It would mean a lot to me, da ne. I want to impress you at least once, da ne."

"...that would be wonderful," Mizuki said with clamped teeth.

"Excellent, da ne!"

Mizuki stared at his phone. He briefly wondered why he'd bothered calling instead of walking the few feet to Yanagisawa's dorm room, but that was rather irrelevant at the moment. The important thing was that Yanagisawa was still his boyfriend, and he'd just agreed to another date instead of getting rid of him.

Well, he would dump Yanagisawa that night at the restaurant.

-----

"I've never been any place this fancy, da ne," Yanagisawa said nervously.

The restaurant was nothing compared to what Mizuki was accustomed to, but the new feelings of mercy that had been building within him almost felt sympathetic towards his current boyfriend.

"Shinya-kun."

"Da ne?"

"I have something I want to discuss with you."

"What is it, da ne? You seem upset, da ne."

Upset was the understatement of the year, but Mizuki didn't say that. Instead, he put on his most apologetic expression, and looked into Yanagisawa's eyes. "This relationship isn't working for me. I think we should break up."

There. If Yanagisawa didn't understand _that_, then he wouldn't understand _anything_ and Mizuki may as well move to a different country and change his name to Bob Smith so as to avoid being stuck with Yanagisawa any longer.

Yanagisawa blinked a few times. "You want to break up, da ne?"

"Yes."

Mizuki almost fell off his chair when Yanagisawa...began to sniffle. He hadn't expected this sort of reaction from him, although he really should have, after all the clues. His eagerness to please, his pathetic loneliness, and the fact that Mizuki had actually felt sorry for him on more than one occasion...

"Shinya-kun, don't cry..."

"I tried so hard, da ne!"

"I know. I'm sorry." Mizuki wasn't sorry in the least, but that was beside the point.

"You...you were just using me, da ne!" Yanagisawa stood, knocking over his chair. "Mizuki Hajime, you're a sleaze, da ne! I'm dumping you, da ne!" Yanagisawa stormed out of the restaurant, leaving an open-mouthed Mizuki Hajime behind him.

__

Nobody dumped Mizuki and got away with it. Nobody. He was the one who decided when a relationship was over and when it wasn't!

He would not stand for this. He would have Yanagisawa Shinya back, no matter what the cost.

-----

"So how are things with you and Mizuki?" Kisarazu asked.

"Oh, pretty good, da ne." Yanagisawa had something like a smirk on his face.

"What are you looking so pleased about? Wait, maybe I shouldn't ask." Kisarazu didn't want to hear any kinky details about anyone's love life, and especially not Yanagiasawa's. The guy was his friend, but...no.

"I'm just looking forward to tonight, da ne," Yanagisawa said.

Right. It was time for Kisarazu to walk away before Yanagisawa decided to elaborate. "Have fun," he said, and then walked away as quickly as he could without appearing to be running for his life.

Yanagisawa was not, in fact, thinking anything that needed to be censored. He was feeling pleased about the fact that his plan seemed to be working rather flawlessly...

-----

"Shinya-kun..." Mizuki did not looking Yanagisawa in the eyes. This way, it appeared as though he was feeling very ashamed. "I'm so sorry about last night."

"It's okay, da ne. I'm over it, da ne," Yanagisawa said, looking bored.

"I think we should give it another try."

"Hm...I don't know, da ne. I'm not sure I want to go through all the trouble again, da ne. You..." The bored expression disappeared, and Yanagisawa sniffled. "You really hurt me, da ne."

"You just said you were over it?"

"I was wrong, da ne! I don't know if I can ever forgive you, da ne!"

"..." Mizuki took a few deep breaths. Getting a boyfriend back should be easy, damn it! All he needed was to pile on the charm. "Shinya-kun...I miss you," he said, his voice dripping with false emotion that was good enough to be almost genuine.

"Oh, I miss you too, da ne! Let's be together again, da ne!" Yanagisawa threw his arms around Mizuki. "I'm sorry for thinking you were using me, da ne. I know you'd never do that, da ne."

Mizuki felt triumphant. _He_ would decide when it was time for them to break up. He would dump Yanagisawa in a couple of weeks, when he was done using him...He didn't actually care about Yanagisawa or anything, no, not even if Yanagisawa _was_ pathetic and had no one to love him. That was irrelevant. The only thing that mattered was that _nobody_ crossed Mizuki Hajime and got away with it!

-----

Yanagisawa smirked.

"Got you, da ne," he said to the picture in his hands. A picture of a highly attractive male clad in purple, with a smirk on his face as he twirled a strand of hair around his fingers.

-----


End file.
